When Do We Lose Our Childhood Dreams?
The other night I was digging in boxes of stuff that my parents have been dumping on me ever since we moved into this house over 7 years ago. Some boxes had old kids books, some had things I’d saved from jr high and high school.
Seeing one particular box with folders and papers from when I was about 12 or 13, I suddenly remembered one of the things I wanted to be “when I grow up”. It had been completely forgotten years ago, but there it was staring me in the face - I had wanted to write books since I was able to print my name.
One of my short stories - something about a super hero cat - was neatly printed and tucked away in a folder with other things. I thought I was going to get a chuckle out of it, which I did, but I also realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. We were probably forced to write it as assignment and had been learning about certain styles of writing, but still it read as if an adult had wrote it.
I thought back and remembered all the other stories I use to write on a whim, wishing I knew where they all were. Somewhere in a box I’m sure, but I haven’t dug much deeper. I also tried to remember why I had stopped writing, and I couldn’t come up with a solid explanation. I’m sure it was as soon as I entered high school and had better things to do. I remember writing a lot of poetry in high school though, taking it more seriously after my kids were born. Nothing ever became of it though, since being a professional poet is a hard market to crack. So somewhere along the road my writing changed from fantasy world to business world, my true dreams somehow forgotten.
Although I can’t help but think WHY the dream morphed into what it did. When I was a kid I never dreamed I’d write about websites, search engines, and marketing. I dreamed of writing REAL books, or becoming a vet, or a storm chaser, or even a professional singer.
Why did the original dreams fade away?
Granted some dreams just aren’t meant to come true, and we all need a dose of reality to realize that. The singing dream ended in high school because it was something which required talent - which I had for an elite high school choir, but not professionally.
But other dreams, such as certain professions that need to be learned…….where do they go? Is it laziness? Discouragement? Or maybe both?
Funny I went to college for awhile before my kids were born to become an accountant, but quickly realized how much I hated accounting and dropped out. Really I was doing it because it was a “safe” job and all adults are suppose to have “real jobs”. Maybe all that college prep my senior year in high school got me stuck in that “real job” mindset, making me forget all those “crazy dreams” of being something more interesting.
So why can’t we be what we want to be? I find myself lacking motivation often, and I now know why. My main motivator is money and taking care of my family. Sure I weave some of my hobbies and things I enjoy into my websites which keeps me motivated short term. But I lack real motivation because I’m not REALLY doing what I want to do.
I’m not singing, writing, watching storms, or taking care of animals. All of which, I’ve found, tend to distract me when I’m trying to “work”. And yes, my cats DO tend to distract me. I tend to follow them when they walk by so I can play with them. Silly eh? But not really because it goes back to my original interests as a child. Songs distract me sometimes, too, especially when I get one in particular in my head and have to listen to it, belting out the notes while no one is around. Storms I can hardly ever work through, and I have to hop on local weather sites to track which way the storms are going.
I’m starting to ramble. Guess it’s the writer in me, he he.
My main point here is what happened to our childhood dreams, and why aren’t we following them? We all struggle daily to make ends meet, thinking we’ve taken the safe route in life. But did we? Do we all have an easy life because of the profession we’ve chosen for the sake of having a safe “real job”?
Something to think about…….especially if you are at a crossroads in your life. Starting a new path may not be as hard as continuing on the path you are currently on.
Increasing in Him,
Kara
Topics: Mom Stuff |