I Dream Therefore I Am…An Insect
©Lisa Barker
I dreamt I was a fruit fly. A little white fruit fly flying among
thousands of fruit flies. I was looking for my husband. But he had flown
off because he was in the military service (of fruit flies, of course).
So I flew to Australia to see his mom because I knew she could help.
She turned me into a two-inch fruit fly doll, just like the whole
family. They lived in a tree house with one entire side of the house open
toward the ocean. The whole family gathered and posed facing the ocean,
so I turned to see why and there was a man taking our family portrait.
When he put the camera down I saw it was my husband in human form.
And then I woke up.
You see the problem with my dreams is that they defy standard dream
dictionary definitions. I have yet to discover what it means when one
dreams she is a fruit fly.
Many times I’ve dreamt I am a mermaid, symbolizing feminine traits
deep in the subconscious. But what good does this do me when deep down I
am a fruit fly?
My family gets a kick out of the dreams I share with them unless, of
course, the dream happens to be about my husband or children doing
something wrong or annoying and I wake up and blame them for something they
have no idea about.
Like if I dream that my husband works all the time and never comes
home. Yet I’m never home because I lost my house and can’t find it.
This really aggravates me and somehow it’s his fault and I let him
have it when I wake up.
Other times I dream that my kids will not listen to me and after a
night of yelling in my sleep, “You better leave that dam alone!” I’m
in no mood for them first thing in the morning.
“But, Momma, we didn’t do anything!”
“Oh, yes you did. Last night you kept letting the water out of the
dam and how many times have I told you not to do that?” They never
had a good answer.
In my most recent dream, I was my husband and he was me. “So,” he
wanted to know, “when you kissed me were you kissing yourself?”
“No, I was like an omniscient first person narrator. I was inside
both our heads.”
“And what did I think?”
“That you should probably get me some diamonds for Valentine’s
Day.”
“Yeah, right.”
Well, they say if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Maybe I will
get jewelry for Valentines Day. Or maybe I’ll just get an aging bunch
of bananas, fruit fly that I am.
LISA BARKER of Greenfield is a syndicated humor columnist and mom of
five. Her latest book is “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane …
Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” See www.JellyMom.com for more
information.
Topics: Parenting Humor |
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